So I went to France...

...and have left Jade's autobiography behind. Sorry. You'll have to wait until I get it back in a few weeks. All I can remember from some of the gems which I have so far found is that once Jade received a letter from a guy in prison threatening her boyfriend (who cheated on her and got caught loads). Anyways,  Jade received the letter even though the prisoner had addressed it to 'Jade Goody, Big Brother, Essex.' Fair play to the royal mail.

My holiday was working on a farm in France with a chum from France. You work, they pay you in accommodation, food, and, as was the case where I went, weed.  We stayed with the family (mam, dad, son) in a filthy big chateau near Toulouse. I've never seen someone more stoned in my entire life than the son. He was stoned constantly: driving a tracter? Fuck it, I'll have a joint first. Making some dinner? Fuck it, lets have a joint. Waking up to begin working on the gardens? Fuck it, lets...well, you get the picture. I'm pretty sure I don't know what his actual personality was like, but it's OK cos he was pretty sound while baked.

The mother though, was a bit of a bitch. She gave out to me for pouring out a bottle of undrank tap water. Even though they have a motherfucking pool. She said 'what has that water ever done to you?' Well obviously nothing you fucking hypocrite, come back to me when you stop wasting water on a fucking pool in an area of projected future water stress and living in a house which costs thousands of Euro to heat during the winter and traveling around the world on big fuck off airplanes so you can sell paintings and shit. I'm pretty sure that the son was stoned primarily because it's the only way you could possibly ignore his mam, who just didn't shut the fuck up talking in her shit shrill accent. And you don't know shit about economics, so shut the fuck up about that too, bitch.

Still though, it was excellent. I recommend it. But be careful, the guy I went with moved to another farm. He left there after 2 days because the people were insane Socialists who believed that there was a special place you could go to where you'd find truth, or something.