After a prologue and 4 pages:
On her mam:
"I remember when i first got pubes. I was so proud of them. Then my mum leant over the bath with a razor and shaved them into a heart shape!"
"She taught me to roll my first spliff aged four, then captured the whole proud event by taking a photo"
Her dad wasn't quite as cool:
"He was found overdosed in the toilet of a KFC restaurant - which must go down as one of the classiest exits in history"
So fashion forward her head must've been in a vacuum:
"We'd get really dressed up...a white skirt and a white shirt with little black stick men and women all over it"
"I was actually a chav before they were given a name"
On her face:
"I can't help my face, thats just the way I was born"
And, just because this is a bit funny:
"Jade...was arrested for shoplifting in Selfridges when she was a teenager. She was caught because she went back to ask for carrier bags for her stolen goods"
very edgy
ReplyDeleteBit harsh, Gretch
ReplyDelete