Ode to a new breed of creep

Today while on the way home from my venture into town (more on this later) I had a first. While choosing my clothes this morning I was looking for airy on top as I knew constrictive clothes were not gonna be my friends when it came to struggling up hills on a bike. This bike, although admittedly possessing a certain rickety charm, while going uphill very quickly reminds me of the whole lack of gears and properly working pedals situation. In the morningheadfog I grabbed at a favourite giant black t shirt of mine and took whichever skirt was sitting atop the pile that was once a chair. This skirt was a small pale purple one that previously I wouldn’t have described as obscenely short, to my peril it would seem. I was navigating my way up past the hill 16 bar, this is a big hill. It was also warm today, you can safely assume I was not looking my best. The traffic lights turned red and so, relishing the chance for a rest I pulled up and stopped beside a car. I then noticed a man in the backseat of this car staring at me. Now, in the past I, like many, have experienced that whole staring at the chest thing (despite my obvious lacking in this particular area) which although unpleasant enough is, at some level, to be expected. However I noticed this man’s glance was lower. What could he be looking at I wondered... suddenly it dawned on me. This strange man in a car was staring at my crotch, my crotch?! Seriously? I was wearing black woollen tights, there was nothing to see! Also, what the hell..who even does that? I stared pointedly at this man until he glanced up, caught my eye and did the whole creepy nod thing kinda like Joey in friends but much weirder...mostly probably because he then resumed staring at my crotch ‘till the lights turned green. This is new to me. A whole other experience. Crotch creeping? Gusset ganderers? Is this a trend I missed? Has anyone else come across this ever?!

I typed creepy man into google and this is what came up, meh. Least he's staring at her chest, Joe Simpson knows how to treat his daughters. No one can deny the man that...