London calling

Found this ghetto girl as I was perving on London street style blogs....I need to get back to London quick smart. To say I have withdrawl symptoms is an understatment. Take me back

Dart Geezer contemplating life on a boat.

come dine on my face

Our dear pal du rag, who has been been noticeably absent from these hallowed pages of late, is going to wow us this evening with some culinary delights. On his own birthday he himself will cook for his pals, what a doll.

As he does not write of his own adventures I feel like I have to pick up the slack. Our public deserves to hear these tales of wonderment. So the other night as we bid adieu to Shove On, Du rag took it upon himself to attempt to make it down the griffer avenue without touching the path. He jumped from tree to tree with the grace of a ????? (what animal can even compare). His final leap must have been about 7 feet, from a bus stop to a hanging branch, it was beautiful.

can't wait to play come dine with me tonight. hope du rag has a rude apron to wear.

bad m

p.s I like, of late the way we're getting back to our roots, for a while I feared we'd become pretentious rebels

wearing is caring

Right, so theres this girl I know and her name is Kellie. She is possibly the most stylish person I have ever encountered in my life and get this she's only fourteen!!! Her style is like that of an acomplished twenty six year old freelance fashion designer/ stylist, it's really laid back chic almost androgynous...I can't begin to fathom where she gets her inspiration from especially at such a young age. I know something for certain and thats when I was her age the only thing I knew about fashion was that out of all the O' Neills tracksuit bottoms that I wore I never wanted to own a pink pair, because come on they were disgusting (lolz)! I was such a rotzer at that age though with my hipster flares and fluffy nope hoodies and mojo tops with a deep vee and of course my sweet pale freckley face and beast fuzzy hair and middle split combo. Anywho, I saw Kellie last night and she looked amazing as per uuuge but my good friend Zaz who is also her sister was telling me that the trousers that Kellie was wearing were not in fact the sweet high waisted ladies trouser pant with turned up bottoms that I thought they were, they were in fact a pair of her dads old jeans that she found and decided to make use of and turn them into fashion gold by pairing them with a masso tan waist belt. She had on a a sweet neckerchief too and get this it was a Balmain find that she got in the vintage section at Urban. With a baggy stripey top and a pair of tan brogues her look was complete with a loose plait or two in her hair. Nautical at its finest! So in all in anyways, the whole reason for me returning to blogging was to give this girl a shoutout. At the risk of sounding like a pervert, she's a babe and has decided to start a blog of all her own with her fashion musings- things she likes an outfit posts that she picks out herself and photographs. None of the pretentious poses you do be used to seeing on the fashion blogs. Here is the link to her blog http://wearingiscaring.blogspot.com/ and I think that anyone who is reading this and has a blogger account should become a follower of her and maybe who knows we could have our own mini international fashion blogger in time to come. Tavi Gevinson, style rookie who? Eat your heart out bbz! xoxo hedwig

CASE CLOSED

OK so, bit of drama. It started with a pack of Chili Heatwaves. Then it turned into a cup of tea. Next I'm offered damaged cakes from Thunders. get there at closing time and they go for a quid. Then BAM, I'm eating Crème brûlée which, strictly speaking I don't like. Like, I would never order it, but I'm a good guest so whatever. So what I'm saying is my quick visit lasted longer than expected. And then in the five minutes it took Jane to get some milk, these pikies had made off with my pride and joy, my Bike, my birthday and Christmas present for the next four years.

SO we leg it down the road. And some kindly youths tell us which way they were headed. I prayed they wouldn't figure out the back pedal breaks and would get fucked up on Collins Avenue. No such luck. We regrouped back at the house and jumped in Jane's Opel Vectra. Just us "Charlie's Angels" mind as "boys always attract trouble". Cruising around Larkhill, staring youths on bikes ourra vit. The best bit was when she warned me to forgive her foul language and cover my ears if we caught the boys as she would not be responsible for what she would say...

GIVING up on the chase. We went back to the base camp. Depressed, I walked home. Swinging by the Garda Station to confirm they'd heard of the theft. The biggest crime in out leafy suburbs no doubt. And there we met the friend of the fella arrested for bike theft. Charming lad, menacing presence, hickey and tattoo on neck. He now knows our names and address. Way to go, Garda Síochána- mixing victims of crime and accomplices. Cheers.

AFTER a sleepless night concocting lies to keep the parents in the dark, I was in no mood to do anything. Not without Bike. But then, I shook myself. And said, "Fuck this. I'm getting my Bike back". With Bad M, her on her ma's bike. I on her baby sister's. We cruised Larkhill. Scowling at ten year olds and grannies. With no luck, feeling dejected we headed to the scene of the crime. We placed ourselves in the mind frame of a cuntish scumbag. It was easy enough. Retracing their steps, we looked for clues. Maybe Bike's green tartan ribbon had got caught in a privet hedge...And then Bad M saw something. A bike! I muttered, "That's not it. It's gone. It has a basket? No, its not mine...Couldn't be"

OH wait, it was. There it was. Bike. Perched up against some hedge. Only the kicked in back wheel cover showed the trauma he'd been through. The tartan bow was still in place. Sure the basket was a little askew but wow, we'd actually solved a crime.

ON the way home we smiled at ten year olds and grannies. I called in to the Garda Station. The Officer seemed perplexed as I told him our adventure.

CASE CLOSED

Can I have a Venti Skimmed Chai Latte please?

Dear Hedwig

Hows things?

Today is my 4th day in New York . On Monday we rented bikes and cycled around central park and we went to see Chicago. Mathew Settle who is the dad in gossip Girl ,the one who is poor but has a loft and an art gallery was in it. He was quite good cept for his dad-like dance moves and his permanent raised eyebrow. Tonight is Lion King. Today we saw a lovely impromptu step up 2 the streets performance on the subway. It got off to a rocky start, the ipod wouldn't work and they nearly kicked Joanne but it was well impressive.

The people in starbucks spelt my name Cheyanne. I went into a different starbucks yesterday, said my name and the girl replied "thats okay you don't need a name." Another woman told me her name was Shovonne and that it was Irish and it meant green fields .I told her it meant Joan.

We saw a crazy Christian preacher at ellis island we listened for a while but just as we were about to be converted, his shift ended and a new guy started. Just wasn't the same then.

Now we're going to sit on the Met steps and eat our yoghurt.

XoXo

Chey anne ur ......

CockRoulette

As some of you may know, there exists a site called chatroulette. If you have a webcam you can go on, and you get randomly paired with someone else using the site at that time. You can see and hear them, and they can see and hear you. It's awesome. However, it has one flaw; it's full to the brim with cock. Pervert after pervert jerkin' the gherkin' to the innocent boys and girls simply going on for a nice chat. The variety and disgusting-ness and the sheer amount of todger on offer is spectacular. And when I say spectacular, I mean it makes you want to vomit in your mouth, and then scrape your eyes with sandpaper. However, ClickClikDccker is quite fond of it. She suggested that a montage of cock be made, and as we were using my Laptop, one was made. On my laptop. I say this because I just want you to know that I wasn't looking at the following cocks on my own. Honest. I'm just the messenger.

Anyway, without further ado, here's the pic. I havn't posted it right here because...well, you'll see. If you like this post, please join this Facebook group.

Me Gaff!

42" specially bought for the World Cup.

not arsed to really type. sleepy.

so whales yeh?

Here be some pics. so here's some fins. excitingg...

Here's one near the boat. yup.

and another.

We went to some festival thing. I really should know the name but it's all spanishy and i can't remember it. Bad M. you'll be loving this one. tiny child. Everyone was dressed up in traditional clothing. twas cool.

This pug was so cute but he turned around the min i took it. obvi. Still. HE'S WEARING A BANDANA!!!!

Booty Sale

So you spent all your cash on some ill advised round buying and an Electric Picnic ticket? But ZOMG, need new clothes? It's cool, I got your back. Swing by the ohsosweet Bernard Shaw tomorrow for some kickass car boot sale action. More indie saps than you can shake a stick at and, in your favour, they need to fund their habits somehow. This means lots of lovely clothes and things at knock down prices, if you're feeling brave you can even try haggle. My advice? Hang around all day, not only for sweet pizza, booze and tuneskis, they WILL get desperate to shift their wares as the day wears on. They'll also get drunker (word to the wise, so will you). Major bargains to be had. Plus, 2 COCKtails for a tenner? Sold. Details here. Let the summer fun commence.